Tag Archives: writing

Never to Escape Me

One Secret Never to Escape Me -10/21/2011

The above drawing was sketch #34 from the batch of 40 I worked on when I was away from home in October. Every one of them were just random ideas. I thought this one fit okay with my thoughts behind the poem below, which I’d say is probably a bit disturbing from other things I’ve written but I consider that a good thing for where it comes from. A few months ago I’d worked on a set of poems written through different voices-I guess I’d call them- of my personality having to do with how I treat myself. The one here is taken with a Ninth of Swords tarot card interpretation loosely in mind. Cruelty–a great lack of compassion and being trapped in a bad situation with the worst being repeated again and again.  I’d rather explain this than to share this poem along with the others in the set than have it assumed I just wrote down random lines and put a title to them. They all connect with something I was so relieved to give words to at the time.

The Nightmare

I gather my own offerings
Fleshy fruit of
Hearts carved into
With my breath

Deliberate swell, I am in good health
I birth scores of your selves and
Have fed upon many
Their juicy excess I rinse from my lips and hands
And leave you without the chance to separate and
Dispossess your deadened reflection

Most were just infants – I tethered their heads
Severing all arms and legs
Gnawed and savored bone…
They must never grow old
Mistakes spat from the earth at the end crossroad

And the wish lingers
Bitter cold crisp after these sunsets
Rusted crowns still bound to me
Scavenging lesser identities

Of lesser obedience, lesser discipline
They gleam most content over
Half unraveled commitments
Small, shimmery riddles
And empty fulfillments

Her nightmare vision and
Ninth sword’s imprisonment
Somewhere beyond are whispers in ritual dance
We’ve captured our prey
Creature entranced with an ache
Tinctured by its find of my domain

It does you no good here to lie
To shape shift or outwit
This web of
My design

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Working on some new lyrics at the moment. Sort of fell into another song, but do see a way to finish and record before too much time passes. Unfortunately I’m settling into believing I don’t have that kind of time anymore, though I’m really just refusing to allow myself anymore time. Nobody else is here to tell me “hurry up” so I’ve got to be the one and make a decision.

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Filed under Life

The Last Rose

I write this poem some months ago and actually posted it, but then quickly took it down when I realized I could do better for it. So I changed some things around, and I will say it relates to my current place in life in a way. When I say ‘last rose’ I mean the last good thing. The thing I woke up to live for, being gone or becoming unimportant. This is about how that can happen, and when I don’t know what to do to move on, I just want to give up.

This morning’s golden halo
Torched and withered my last rose
Insanity is getting bold
Such misery…I cannot cope

Tears are slipping down my throat
Disturbed shards of a broken soul
Blades and sorrow hold me close
Dreaming far, of dark and cold

Skinless, grotesque, predisposed
Self-destruction’s all I know
Embrace my inner Scorpio
I have a future to disown

I can’t fix the status quo
Life takes too long to let me go
My lies receive a second coat
Pretend to live knowing I won’t

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Filed under Art, Death, Life, personal, poems, poetry

In Dark, In Sleep

 

 

The dark, the blind and vulnerable

I am where subconscious urges roam

 

In fluid dreams; their disconnect

They speak of all things alien

 

In sleep, sorrowful memories

A fixed unease roots from the crease

 

My threaded thoughts fray unstrung

My secure world becomes undone

 

 

A simple one that started out apart of another poem I am working on. This section I thought was better on its own.

 

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Filed under Art, Life, poems, poetry

Heaven Fades

This poem means a lot of things. Take it as literal if it makes more sense, but there is symbolism here. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what it means myself….I guess I mean the good things I was once told; the advice always on the bright side and how it doesn’t keep me anymore. A certain faith and security is gone and isn’t coming back soon. Darkness being more abundant, always there; light being so short lived.

A death before the life
When nothing’s wrong, nothing’s right
What if there is no afterlife?
No divine love in paradise…

Don’t presume to know what He wants
We are his random dream
I’m sure his feelings aren’t hurt
Our ‘loyalty’ means nothing

A moral story, a rusty hymn
Pure nightmares, utopian myths
Grim death is bond unto the soul
The fear that lives and dies alone

They are far upon their thrones
Those stars died out so long ago
A trillion thoughts, angels all spent
Heaven fades, in the chaos of darkness

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Filed under Art, Death, Life, people, personal, poems, poetry

Jazz

In this disappearing mood, this nameless fades in blue

Her soul amid seasoned notes; that piano’s sad song

Those dark hooded eyes stare off, glazed in tragedies

Cold, heavy, liquid streaks, unfortunate and smothering

Night sent its sympathy; apologies of life

Their lies and sassy attitudes, their rhythm wasn’t right

Her heart beats in smooth, storytelling jazz

As a shadow takes her hand for a final slow dance

She has the time; her poison’s in a fancy glass

She waits for the last bitter memories to pass

Success from her beating upon death’s door

Surviving hardly feels right anymore….

 This poem is newer. I wrote it with a scene in my head, trying to take myself away from personal writing, and create a character I could just relate to. It’s a little strange, especially the form, but who really cares? The whole point of what I’m writing now is to break out of the box I’ve put myself in with being so strick when coming up with verses, always having to rhyme and look ‘perfect’, up to my own standards, which are too high anyway… 

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Filed under Art, Death, Life, Music, poetry