Tag Archives: paintings

Keep Your Eyes Peeled

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September 5, 2016 · 8:52 pm

Unfolding

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July 17, 2016 · 7:27 am

The Ocean

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I just felt like painting a land/seascape. I’m supposed to be on a trip to Maine in September and maybe I’ll get to see something like it up there… Life is up and down, always and always. I’m not fighting it anymore.

 

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The Hunter…

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This is a portrait collage using pastel, paint, fabric scraps, fringe, sheet music, mirror shards and paper clippings. Family was in town and we decided to have a “craft day”. I started this not knowing the mess it would become, but I had fun…lol

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Alive

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I have a calendar with different images of sugar skulls (like those from Day of the Dead celebrations). I just wanted to try my own. I traced my own drawing of the skull so I could repeat the shape and create a different decoration in the future if I want to do another one sometime. Was fun :)

Survived the first week, but Friday was my first full day with my trainer. Already I was losing patience with myself for how confusing the computer work is to me. It will take some time and the wait for understanding will be the most difficult part…I’m good though. What’s meant to happen will be on it’s way regardless. I’m open and welcoming.

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Wilt

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Not exact, but fun to paint anyway. I’ve decided to try painting from a few photos I’ve taken just as a different exercise. I’ve also gotten my watercolors out again. In between interviews and phone screenings, I’m hanging onto my soul a little bit for the moments taken to paint or play my piano. The free time is never wasted.

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A New Source

Mother of Light

Finally complete. It is painted on a 2ft square piece of plywood. I will look for a frame and find a place for it on my wall. This painting may make the least sense (having no clear idea when I started), but the colors I find calming to just gaze at. The background gets across a refreshing energy I wish I could take with me.

This past Thursday I went to my first support group meeting with NAMI. I was the only new person this week, but I was lucky to come in on a day where the room had all seats filled and we all shared a great amount of useful tips and support. Just getting through that without feeling shunned or diminished was a relief. I intend to go back and make it a regular thing. I found myself really hanging on to the very thought of meeting the group during the days before because of the strong sense of loneliness I’m unable to shake. At work I go largely unnoticed. No family to turn to, no friend to even keep company with, and the brick wall always being run into for how unending it all seems.

I know that is all it is though. A feeling that will pass. Yet it’s the return that becomes unbearable. Again fighting the same fight, surviving one wave only to be threatened with another. That’s hard to build any life around. But others have done it and I’m not a meaningful exception. I’m not taking for granted how good my situation is overall right now. There is a trip returning to Chicago next week to look forward to and I won’t trouble myself to think far beyond it to worry about. Not now.

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