Tag Archives: Music

Aiming For…

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Haven’t settled on what to call this one, but I feel hopeful when I look at it and that means enough.

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11th Collection

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Running Out of Ways -original

Running Out of Ways

Oh my, I forgot to breathe.
My thoughts have drawn so deep.
Allow a little more room please.
You safety will no longer do.

See, I am just running out of ways
To pretend I am brave.
To keep my fears contained.
I hang my life on every word they say.

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Never Ever Known

Never Ever Known – Original song

Lyrics:

True, so true.
Afraid I am of you.
And I don’t know what to say.
I’ve never known a friend to stay.

Nobody is some lonely one
Hidden amongst the graves.
And just like him, I patiently wait
Just like him, I know the living aren’t safe.
You’re not safe. I tell you,

Take whatever it is you mean to take.
Hurt me, hate me, have your way. Because
I’ve never, ever known
A friend to stay.

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Just a little song…

Recorded just this past winter. I finally have the nerve to share. Despite the subject matter of the lyrics here, I’m doing okay. Beginning the second week as a “Coding Specialist”…lol I have to get used to that title being one I can now claim. If I get the hang of my duties, I’ll be able to work half day on Fridays, leaving time to record new music. So glad of it…

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A little music.

This one was fun to arrange. It may not sound as if I’m playing very fast, but it’s a faster pace than I normally work with…lol So glad I have a digital keyboard too, for practicing in the evening with my headphones. Really gets me away from it all.

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In the light of day.

This painting is small and was all for the moment. I felt a sense of betrayal over something that happened and needed very much to see red. Luckily it was paint and not my own blood this time around.

I’ve written out all the thoughts that came up during my two full days of breakdown following the news of my therapist’s retirement. The problem with my job is the time I’m left to ruminate. I can bring myself so easily to tears, and those particular days were brutal. Not 30 minutes passed without weepy eyes and a feeling inside as if something had crawled into a hole and died. Genuine grief I didn’t think I was capable of feeling anymore.

I have some questions for him next week, along with some apologies to make. Since I’ve never terminated with a therapist before like this, I’m sure more tears are in store and hopefully I can express all I need to and fix a way somehow to move forward without him to turn to any longer.

And for a little song…The beginning of a poem I wrote years back, put to a melody to pass the free time some weeks ago.
Too Late

It was never best that I cover up
But I fear letting you know
And the life after if I ever let it show
That I’ve never been together

Still, your eyes come to see
And I whisper to you ‘Don’t look down.’
Approach no further – walk back out
Just one more moment and I’ll reset
I’ll be all better soon

I promise…

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