A recent watercolor. Below is a recording of my reading a poem I wrote.
Here again, we are.
Try as I may, I fail to charm.
You could say anything to me.
Heal or harm, either way, I would still believe
You know and withhold everything I need.
Yet I still cannot think what to make of help.
You say and see the way
As I dream nothing is left.
Always I try to prove I can too, help myself.
Hoping one day I’ll show up as someone else…
Hoping one day I’ll make it through,
Without yet another death.
Glenwood Gardens, spring 2013– Photos I took about a month ago, just as the warm weather was returning with leaves opening to the sun. It was also the day a random stranger- an art photographer walking that day- asked me to pose for his collection. The lavender shaded trees at the end of this slide were near the site he chose for my photo. It was very beautiful that day.
I’ve made it through my first week on my new job. I like the work I’m doing, how I’m mainly responsible for my own tasks and have no one else’s judgment to worry about or rely on. I had a difficult first few days during training, but more due to the crisis I was having emotionally. I underestimated how much the stress of this change would overwhelm me. I’m grateful I had an appointment with my doctor before I made any decisions. He gave me another medication that is working very well, and what we discussed made a mark in mind that I hope to talk further about in two weeks time.
I won’t be the one to say things are finally looking up and all will be well, but I got through the first week. That is more than enough for now.
“Not that I’m so different…
Not that I don’t see the dying light of what we used to be.”
I just love that song.
This is a crayon and oil pastel drawing with a bit of colored pencil here and there. I’m trying something different.