I have a calendar with different images of sugar skulls (like those from Day of the Dead celebrations). I just wanted to try my own. I traced my own drawing of the skull so I could repeat the shape and create a different decoration in the future if I want to do another one sometime. Was fun :)
Survived the first week, but Friday was my first full day with my trainer. Already I was losing patience with myself for how confusing the computer work is to me. It will take some time and the wait for understanding will be the most difficult part…I’m good though. What’s meant to happen will be on it’s way regardless. I’m open and welcoming.
The past week I’ve had all to myself before beginning my new job April 25th. It wasn’t the most productive week and I wish I could have gotten around to other things, but I’ve had enough rest. Most of the energy has been spent trying to distract from the growing worry about the new demands/people/environment I’m going to have to get used to. I’m scared I’m not smart enough, assertive enough, mature enough to make such a change as this from the simple job I’ve finally escaped. Maybe I’m not sharp enough anymore to wrap my mind around what I’ll need to learn. Still struggling to be on my own side and not destroy what I’ve worked so long to have…
Well April 25th is exactly six months from my birthday October 25th. An odd surprise when I first learned of it and I guess something to look forward to. If I make it six months, to age 27, maybe I’ll believe by then that I’m safe to make long term plans.
This is my first portrait in a long while…since I completed my mother’s back in 2014 I think. It actually reminds me of how I feel right now. My last day of work/overtime was today. April 25th I begin again somewhere new, better pay, and I pray a better atmosphere and group of personalities. I’m just worried is all. What will disappoint me first and then the most? Will I be as isolated as I fear? I just don’t want to fall so awfully this time. Starting over can be so terrible sometimes.