A new painting finally :) A lot has been going on, but it’s good overall. I’m still working and trying not to allow myself to feel trapped. The meds are still working. Therapy is still going well. I’m faltering a bit on the affirmations, but nothing I can’t regain.
I’m taking more challenges and the next one is attending a church service this Sunday. My uncle goes to this particular place every week and he loves it and said he would meet me there in the morning. This Sunday is my birthday and doing something so different I hope will set me up for a year of other opportunities to go beyond my boundaries and fear. I am not religious, but I’ve been advised to try this out to see if the sense of community/acceptance can be given a chance to reach me. I’ve admitted to feeling stuck in isolation, as if I’m the biggest fool for thinking it will end. And those thoughts dig the grave deeper than it ever needs to be. I can’t live in this position any longer. It’s better to risk everything now and be destroyed by it than endure the same hesitations that have already taken enough of my life.
Besides the service on Sunday, I’m going out to eat an expensive dinner and dessert somewhere and not care about the money for once. Not the money, the calories, the crowd and the Monday to follow will disturb me. Then I’m coming home to continue practice with the new digital keyboard I bought myself earlier this month (I still have the piano, but now I can practice any time, day or night and not wake the house with my noice…lol). Forgetting bits and pieces of songs I used to know like the back of my hand is what pushed me to make the purchase and I don’t regret it at all.
Anyway, I didn’t expect to see 26. This will stay with me.