Thank goodness I have found such a helpful therapist. I was so scared any continuance of treatment with someone new would likely show a few bad fits before the right person was settled on. But I don’t have to stress about it. I’m being given practical things to help me get a grip on my ruminations and the many habits that have taken on a life of their own.
And today I just really needed to talk. I’ve felt thrown away but the reasons don’t mach up because no one has dropped me. But I made the choice not to continue with the choir (various reasons, but mainly due to a change in location of rehearsals). Noticing I’m not someone they’d care to fight very hard to keep anyway. I was willing to bear another year of feeling out of place and being the odd ball in the group if it meant I could still sing and be part of working toward the next performance. But it also meant another year of schedule conflicts with work and never volunteering to go the extra mile with activities that didn’t involve singing…the guilt over these things. Feeling it all was a burden to me when I truly didn’t want that.
Then I met with the psychiatrist, barely for 10-15 minutes. After saying everything’s been good/well and the rest of what you know they want to hear, and then out the door I was with five months worth of refills and another appointment not until February. Yeah, if I make it there.
Anyway, I am getting my D.C. pictures together. My favorite moment was exploring the Smithsonian. Seeing the only Leonardo Da Vinci painting in North America in person was just too cool…lol Free access to the gallery of art and they let you take pictures! I couldn’t believe all the museums were free to walk into. I could just live in that entire space of the National Mall getting lost in those museums…lol
Until next time :)