I have recently finished a book called How Psychotherapy Really Works and truly found it helpful in understanding my experience with it the past four years. How unique the patient/therapist relationship really is and how it made an impact even without my realizing. I also wanted to understand better the grief I was struck with when I knew I’d have to say goodbye. The fear of what exactly I’d be without. But I basically came away with it clear that my previous therapist only helped me help myself in the end. May seem obvious to the outsider, but when you’re in a place of desperation, saving myself meant total death and it’s taken a very long time to replace the strength of that idea to my strength to create alternative choices and to be more resilient when things go wrong. I’m still learning, always trying to “figure out” what is not solvable, but at least the search is something. It’s action where otherwise I’d have long given up as nothing it would change.
I look forward to sharing some new art I’ve completed. And a lot of music I haven’t quite gotten arranged yet, but on the way. This photo was taken today when I got home. As little an influence I feel I am to this world, I’m not the only one struggling to belong. I support the efforts of TWLOHA in spreading awareness of mental illness and helping people who seek treatment. We’ve got to help one another somehow and one day I might be able to do more than small donations, but for now I’m sure anything helps. That’s what I hope and will hang onto.