In pains of growth.

An acrylic piece from weeks ago when I had time for this love…

Again it’s becoming painfully obvious I am one of billions who cannot do what they love and make a living by it. That is likely a blessing not many will have a chance to ever know. The rest of us are left looking at what we have–maybe it’s good, but not enough to not be outdone by another someone.

Although for me, it’s okay if nothing I create is worth enough to keep a roof over my head. It keeps air in my lungs and my blood right where it should be in trying to stay alive for it.  So, I’ll have to settle with the sorrow that 40+ hours a week at a deadening job leaves me with so little time or energy to do this actual work I love.  The time I do have will just have to count for something. When that dwindles away, I just hope to be taken soon after.

Choir rehearsal has restarted. I am ashamed at how overwhelmed the first evening back left me. Shaken and almost scared away all together into taking leave for the rest of this busy season. Still undecided with that and here comes another Monday rehearsal on the way…


Filed under Life

2 responses to “In pains of growth.

  1. I know it well, the artist’s conundrum. You are so wise to know that money or no money, you are an artist and must make art. I love this acrylic! There’s a whimsy and a confidence in the painting that is compelling.

  2. I know exactly how u feel… I live and breathe to create

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