You Didn’t Know

Finally some new music to share. This is a poem I modified for the simple melody I was working with one day. There is one note I sing that makes me cringe a little when I listen, but over all I think it gets across the pain underlying something personal I’m talking about.

I’m sorry you didn’t know
I buried my wings long ago.

Your unexpected, over blessed
baby girl.

You should have let me die.
I’m not getting this thing right.
Now pieces of a painful break…

I’m sorry when you hug me
I am numb from skin to soul.

All these years have never been.
And I’ve nothing to show.

There is a break for a few weeks from choir activities which I have to be thankful for. Other than that, I’d much rather get out of occupying my life for a while. Get out of this skin and not have to be here worrying about how to maintain. If there were only a switch to flip…I think I’d be okay long term then. But the only thing I know is how usual it is for the best options to be totally out of my reach.

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