This is a semi-hard pastel drawing on a burlap panel piece I bought on clearance weeks ago. I glued in shredded sheet music here and there. My own version of a flower I’ve seen including that.
I am still working full time. I’ve had two interviews– the one last week was a bust, but the other (of which I had to leave early today to complete) was more promising.
Apart from these decent happenings, I nearly broke down in front of my mother mid-week as I prepared for another long day at work and the last interview. I blatantly told her I felt very lonely and so tired of starting over. Sure, it’s nothing she or anyone else can solve, but up to that point I always felt too pathetic to admit how much loneliness has affected me. Even to my therapist, whom I’ve gone another month without speaking to. Apart from the letter I sent with my apology to him for the last session, I feel shameful and not yet ready/willing to open up again with discussion. A small set back I’m trying to pull through I guess.
I have my audition to look forward to, and the bus trip to NYC I’m taking in September with my mother I’m still excited to reach. Just keeping in mind that I do indeed have to stay alive to meet those moments. I just need to show up.