This is part of what I will be sharing next weekend at the show.
Smaller painted pins.
Crafty pins: buttons / beads / paint /fabric.
My display board for the art walk.
Thursday we set up and Friday at 6pm is the opening night.
I have to admit, I’ve been stressing. I’m probably doing too much for two evenings that may not leave me feeling it was worth all this effort. Old habits and thoughts have been springing up as I hear myself saying ‘it needs to be just right’. I’m a perfectionist and when nothing seems right, something in me would rather destroy all that is than settle with what I can’t control.
So, I’m taking a break the next few days and will make time for my piano and writing again. Preventing a down turn in mood and coping behaviors, I will try to stay ahead of the worse moments.
The sketch of this was posted some weeks ago. Finally got it out of the way and I’ll be looking for a frame for it now to hopefully take it with me to the art walk. I’ll have a bit of a flower theme going on I think since several other pieces are also blooms.
I’m getting a little nervous now, too. My mother and I both have invited people and I have two so far who have confirmed days they’ll stop by. Nothing will be as it’s been planned in my head to obsess over, and the very fact others are interested is more than enough for me. But I have thoughts here and there about not being/having enough or being far less than impressive some how. Silly things to waste mental energy on, I know, especially with the class I’m so absorbed with. I just hope everything goes smoothly. Being a first time participant is what’s getting me I think. Being new has always been difficult for me to cope with…lol
Today was a rough day. Nothing went right from the moment I got up, but at least it was warm outside, and not raining. I framed some more paintings, played a new song on my piano that worked out well…Nothing more I need.
The song below is new and one I had fun putting together:
This voice is still a child.
This soul loses itself amid the
Myriad shades of gray.
Here and there, creates a face,
And begs the god she’s found her place.
To settle in as human.
To rest – content to stay.
Nothing would mean more
If not so soon she’s run away.
This is the first portrait I’ve drawn in long months so it’s probably more off than I’d be comfortable with had I kept practice. I started it just because I thought it was a shame I’ve drawn so many portraits of people I’ll never meet and never took care for those among me. My mother is overly critical of her appearance and it hurts me to hear the harshness and true dislike. Something must have been said to her long ago that’s just rooted itself into her mind and thoughts about who she is and her self worth. Just my guessing there, but I wonder if something similar didn’t happen to me and I’m not realizing it, or know it would hurt too much to find out.
Anyway, this is complete and I plan to give her both the original and this print version as a gift sometime soon. This week’s studying has been a monster and I hardly have time for a meal, yet somehow between leaving work in the morning and late nights I got this portrait done…lol I’ve really appreciated her extra support lately, especially as we prepare for the art walk next month. I haven’t seen her so enthusiastic to be a part of something I’ve chosen to do in a long time and it’s nice.
I will probably disappear for another week or two so that I can focus on what I’m trying to learn. It’s going okay. The pressure is on me though and I hope I remember this is not as life or death as the moments lead me to feel. I chose this and just need to see it through no matter what the outcome…