From Healing to Certain Hell.

This painting took too long to finish for my lack of energy with the details, but I’m glad I finally have the idea complete.

Lead Us To

Okay, you’ve gotten a peak.
There is something diseased
Beneath its mild and sweetly lit smile,
Barring teeth.
You know now not to speak.

Already robbed of energy –
We try to keep up pace
But today she is resistant toward me
And our obligation
To bend and lift then bend again,
Hating we’re here and with hope for
Only how all ends and when…

I don’t know where I fit
And her color changes from
Healing to certain hell,
Wishing us and all the rest be dead.

The only help of use at this phase
Would lead to and through
Our dying days.

I think my co-worker is a little uneasy with me. I let my frustration show a lot more than I thought was actually getting across, even though I tried to hide my anger the best I could. This week was so up and down…I don’t trust myself to make any decision when it’s so easy for my motivations to be swayed by how I’m feeling at any given minute. It’s difficult to sift through what I truly want from what my emotions lead me to think. My voice I don’t trust is my own.

I’m considering school again. Going back and taking classes to earn a certificate, but I can’t settle on what to take quite yet. Something that will develop my skills toward a profession I think I can live with. Doesn’t have to have anything to do with art, since I’ll never give that up no matter what I do for money, but just something I can better tolerate than what I continue to throw myself into now job to job…trading one type of hell for another.

Advertisements

4 Comments

Filed under Life

4 responses to “From Healing to Certain Hell.

  1. School is a good thing. Making art always, essential:) I adore the stained glass-like color!

  2. Steven

    Oh man the words ” I don’t trust myself….” Is absolutely relatable. Trust me its taken me YEARS to improve and often times I still fail. Just remember when you are caught up in something, take a step back. Never as bad as it seems.

    • Very true…lol I’m good at blowing things up more than what’s deserved. Sometimes second guessing is the worst thing to do, but for now I don’t think I can reconsider enough before making any huge move. Thank you for the advice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s