This painting took too long to finish for my lack of energy with the details, but I’m glad I finally have the idea complete.
Lead Us To
Okay, you’ve gotten a peak.
There is something diseased
Beneath its mild and sweetly lit smile,
You know now not to speak.
Already robbed of energy –
We try to keep up pace
But today she is resistant toward me
And our obligation
To bend and lift then bend again,
Hating we’re here and with hope for
Only how all ends and when…
I don’t know where I fit
And her color changes from
Healing to certain hell,
Wishing us and all the rest be dead.
The only help of use at this phase
Would lead to and through
Our dying days.
I think my co-worker is a little uneasy with me. I let my frustration show a lot more than I thought was actually getting across, even though I tried to hide my anger the best I could. This week was so up and down…I don’t trust myself to make any decision when it’s so easy for my motivations to be swayed by how I’m feeling at any given minute. It’s difficult to sift through what I truly want from what my emotions lead me to think. My voice I don’t trust is my own.
I’m considering school again. Going back and taking classes to earn a certificate, but I can’t settle on what to take quite yet. Something that will develop my skills toward a profession I think I can live with. Doesn’t have to have anything to do with art, since I’ll never give that up no matter what I do for money, but just something I can better tolerate than what I continue to throw myself into now job to job…trading one type of hell for another.