Beginning week 2 at the new job. Still up and down, mainly in the gray somewhere in between wondering what the fuss is about with worrying whether or not I get this whole thing “right”. I’m just doing what I’m supposed to.
When people in the past have minimized my difficulty and fear regarding certain things, it’s been set up in my mind that I have no right/reason to feel insecure or terrified because this is what is supposed to be happening. For example I’ll think ‘who cares if I end up hating my job? Everyone does and they aren’t acting as ridiculous as I am’. When the truth is that a lot of people may hate their jobs, but I’m sure most of them don’t want to kill themselves over it either. Most people never seriously consider going so far….
I miss playing my piano.
Take Your Turn
How do you breathe through this sorrow?
How can you dream tomorrow?
There is no promise in me
I’m so set apart…
How about you see the low light I see?
Scream my screams.