Find Me Alive

This is another portrait I started years ago and recently completed.

The song here has been finished for a while now. I had a short clip performing it, but it makes no difference. Nothing special.


Love me –
Hate me for anything.
Either extreme I need;
You’ll find me alive nowhere in between.

All you have to say is “hold on”.
Keep waiting and hoping though all light has gone…
But those words are cruel when one is with no reason to stay.
With no dream to keep breathing for
And little room is left for faith.

Why don’t you take all that I take?
Think your way through it all –
My soul you’ll recreate.
Why don’t you take the rest of these awful years?
You find me a way from here.

So, I have news. Yesterday I accepted a full time position with a local store as a goods inspector. It was one of my better interviews and I did feel like I had a good chance, but now that I’ve accepted I only worry about messing it all up. I’m still sticking with treatment though and have another session very soon. I have to remember that I will and should expect to be allowed enough time to actually learn what I’m doing. I’ll give it a month if my strength allows and see how I feel by then. Someone my age should be working full time by now anyway I guess…I worry about such a schedule overwhelming me.

It’s not in my nature to first look to the bright side of things, but here I am with another opportunity to see the better unfold.


Filed under Life

6 responses to “Find Me Alive

  1. Congrats on the job Allyson! Just remember, these people don’t know you. An opportunity to make a different impression. It’s like getting off one plane on to another. Just don’t take the baggage with you.

  2. Congratulations on your new job!
    I hope you enjoy it, and meet some nice people.

    • Thank you :) I took a while before telling anyone else at home–I felt more terrified than excited at first, but now I’m getting my grip I think. I really need this to go well. Take care, Elena.

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