For So Little.
Their presence, made known.
Well they spoke by fierce shifting’s of wind.
The others, above and underworld,
Demand to be let in.
For each to stake their claim –
To make their case, settle in and have their ways
Before this spirit has chance to rise
From its final breath, be shaken dim
Its spark of life.
The desperate moment we are given a taste…
The beauty of that aged ache soullessness creates.
A glimpse past the disadvantage of human eyes –
Bridged finally within mind,
Punishment and promise defined.
I’m waiting to hear back about an interview I had on Friday. I was feeling really great about my chances, but as usual with any good feelings, it was short lived. Things are complicated at home also. My doctor mentioned something I was already reading up on called Expressed Emotion that has given me insight into what’s probably going on between my mother and I and the anger/disappointment I sense just beneath the surface from her so often. I know it’s not easy putting up with my coldness and low moods and I wish she was honest with me about just how frustrated she truly is. I’m so sorry to still be this sort of burden to her. As all over the place as I am in trying to regulate my own emotions, from the food restrictions and over exercising I can’t stop- to remembering my medication each night, it’s wearing me out worrying about every move I make around her and the rest of my family.
Nothing I’m supposed to mention though. The point of all is once again losing me.