This is the first painting after a long break that I’ve completed. I started it with a free mind, but it eventually became the frustration I feared it would become. It has been so difficult to stay motivated when starting anything because I don’t want to waste time on something that is only going to fail. Being overwhelmed with that sort of disappointment has shut me down in so many ways. But I forced myself to start on and work through a new piece. Each day fighting the urge to rip and throw away what I saw as an ugly mess of confusion. For all I know it could still look that way, but at least now I can live with it.
For once I didn’t choose complete destruction of a problem over working through one and coping with patience. I thought I abandoned that approach long ago, but somehow things do tend to come back around again. There was something more to learn.