I went to therapy this afternoon for the first time in over a month. I can’t believe some of what I admitted to, but I see so little purpose in holding back now in any sense. I spoke to my doctor at some points as if I weren’t human at all, like my shadow had taken over and spoke in the voice I usually only hear in my mind. Surprising and disturbing things I let out, but now even I can’t run from the truth of them. He wrote his notes and who knows, they might save my life one day beyond what I expect.
Below is a first verse piano cover of a song called October by Evanescence that I find so comforting in its full version. The final recording I settled with is in the player beneath that.