Dream weary eyes
Another night, another darkest of all
You never fail – this is where you go
And you already know your way home
You will save yourself again,
Even if it’s not what you want.
What you want will never happen.
It’s always going to hurt more to heal,
Even if you feel the mending isn’t real.
The self-portrait above will be my last painting for a while I think. At least it’s not something dark, right? Something light to say goodbye with if it is my last. The poem/song is meant only to explain the pattern I’ve seen over the years – when things get better and get worse and my handling the change – the wearing down and truth always left over.
Day #5 is here and there is no more pain. Another five days won’t guarantee feeling as well as I do physically right now, but I’ll hope for that. Better sleep will come soon enough.