“If I never turn, I will never grow.”

After All I’ve Seen…

 —

Here is a piano cover of a song I love listening to. It’s by Fallulah called “Give Us A Little Love”. I tried it one day just hoping to feel better.

I’ll be scheduling an appointment next week. Over a month since the last therapy session, things have not gotten better as I thought they would by now. Maybe nothing is working or will work. I’m stuck like this just until. What’s worse is I just have to be okay with that. Survive and pretend there is no other choice.

 

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10 Comments

Filed under Life

10 responses to ““If I never turn, I will never grow.”

  1. Love the circle echos in your drawing.

    • A purpose I actually believe in. At least- I think that’s what I want. It’s what I think would solve the emptiness I feel.

      • what is stopping you from finding that purpose now?

      • It’s the waiting and searching. If I’d found a direction and reason there would probably be no problem here, but nothing has hit me yet and I’ve already stopped caring the way I should. Without a reason/dream/meaning/purpose, whatever we have to call it, why live?

      • yes you need a reason / dream / meaning / purpose. i suppose you need to do some soul searching. You are very similar to me in that you like create both the musical and visual arts, and we both have have had trouble finding happiness. I joined a league that has juried art shows several times a year and i have a band. Have you considered exploring those type of avenues? i find they help me IMMENSELY.

      • Wow, congratulations Brian. I think I’ve got too far to go. I don’t know how to be a decent friend anymore, let alone a band mate. And I don’t believe my art is good enough to bother with entering contests. For another person to tell me all that is wrong in what I do is not necessary unless the aim is to snuff out my will completely. But to be content with just existing would be enough at this point, if I weren’t so convinced I don’t belong here at all.

        I wish I could do as you and others have done. You actually live.

      • hhmmmm, well this is certainly a conundrum….

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