And the world turns…
To Lose the Lost
“It forbids wave and open flow
Waters have frozen still
A flame within never to show
Rough earth and air be all we know”
I wrote it out for you
And read over, then stepped away
Then forgot and read over again
What about you is so different?
Tell me what you need.
And if there is nothing, why is it you won’t leave?
I forget how you got here and what you arrived with.
My same weaker dreams without their guardian,
Loved so distantly if at all for my neglect…
And now they have all gone
They have killed themselves all off.
The drawing above is with pastels. Desperate to draw something, but not knowing what, I usually resort to eyes- trying to express what I’m feeling through an image of the eye.
I feel very worn. My first therapy session in weeks was this past Tuesday and I came away feeling just enough disgust for what I’ve turned into, but not in the way that would push me to try harder. It was more in the way of pushing me to shut down in all ways. I think I’ve taken too many steps back- losing the urgency I once had to make the most of my time/opportunities.
Early last month I fell into doing another Evanescence cover, this time of the song Whisper (it’s short, just the first verse). This is more of my just reading the lyrics one day and interpreting how they made me feel through my own musical arrangement. So, not really a cover in the normal way I guess, but anyway…