A Given Kindness

I wrote something several months ago after I’d gone to the doctor for a physical and was left to wait in a room with a huge, frantic fly that would not settle for more than a second. I waited long enough to think up a lot I had to get written down and this is it below. This link is to a reading of the poem I decided to do recently :   https://www.box.com/s/005f8bbd3b8a524014c3

Eleutheromania

They’ve trapped us both behind the office door
Both of us too small for the worlds in which we live
Yet I – of a larger mass – know of few let layers
Even less gets filtered through
My meaning and instinct are so small compared
To the pursuit of freedom about you …

A fresh lens projects across your eyes
You learn: swoop closer and I swat toward
Hoping you’ll tumble down and out onto the floor
So you hang low in the dark corner
Determined buzz turned a thin, contemplative hum
I see you know the danger
Ticks and zips to figure plan…

If I weren’t so anxious someone would walk in
You’d be caught now, and our mutual misery at end

But I understand heartlessly
That you, a winged creature of mere weeks
Matters more than my past and potential life
In its entirety
To stop your life would shift the greater scale
While my pitiful quickness – my whatever is left existence –
Be disposable, inconsequential and utter less

You’ve noticed the window finally
Beating against the glass, you want back into the heat
Another day thickly absorbed: July’s ninety degree
Oppressive, but for all you know, only in this moment
And much less than the very close, enclosed fold
Of walls making up this room

So lucky you are…the weight of years don’t tie you in
Your life span began with a given kindness
It will happen and your decay will sprinkle the sunset haze
Someday you’ll start again
And I will be here – still waiting

Wishing I’d never been

—————

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