To Keep Safe As I Am

“This day should never have come to pass.”

This drawing was one I completed on my birthday this past October. Most of my sketches have long titles, usually a line from a song or just a sentence summing up my thoughts behind it. So anyway, that particular day was a difficult one only because I made it to be. I didn’t want to see 22 years close out still stuck in the same situation, having seen no real change. But I’ll never be satisfied, and I’m beginning to think there’s not even a middle ground for what I would agree to just live with, or rather, live as.

My Place

Up the drive way
With the large and hollow garbage can
Pulled by the grip of my weak, bone thin hands

Three, maybe four of me could fit within, comfortably
Perhaps even a fifth if you don’t mind the minor lift
Of the lid at my extra folded self

I think it’s rather right I be thrown away
To reunite with my own kind –
Disposed of with the waste

I don’t know what went wrong, but so much was lost
With such forward strength in the bends of my gaze
And now an eye has broken off

Now all sites of extreme are reached and
At once, for better is all for shame
Its pure breath – a lie in itself – was too much less for

Me to sustain – too quick a disappointment for me
To contain,
For me to keep safe as I am

At a far distance from our useless conversation
Your advice swept by somewhere on the
Outside in whisper shreds

There be no other link – no other shade to which I cling
More faithfully than to what sees me fallen


I’ve messed up again. Things were so certain…and either way, I already had enough rope.



Filed under Life

2 responses to “To Keep Safe As I Am

  1. are you seeing a doctor for your probs?

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