Never to Escape Me

One Secret Never to Escape Me -10/21/2011

The above drawing was sketch #34 from the batch of 40 I worked on when I was away from home in October. Every one of them were just random ideas. I thought this one fit okay with my thoughts behind the poem below, which I’d say is probably a bit disturbing from other things I’ve written but I consider that a good thing for where it comes from. A few months ago I’d worked on a set of poems written through different voices-I guess I’d call them- of my personality having to do with how I treat myself. The one here is taken with a Ninth of Swords tarot card interpretation loosely in mind. Cruelty–a great lack of compassion and being trapped in a bad situation with the worst being repeated again and again.  I’d rather explain this than to share this poem along with the others in the set than have it assumed I just wrote down random lines and put a title to them. They all connect with something I was so relieved to give words to at the time.

The Nightmare

I gather my own offerings
Fleshy fruit of
Hearts carved into
With my breath

Deliberate swell, I am in good health
I birth scores of your selves and
Have fed upon many
Their juicy excess I rinse from my lips and hands
And leave you without the chance to separate and
Dispossess your deadened reflection

Most were just infants – I tethered their heads
Severing all arms and legs
Gnawed and savored bone…
They must never grow old
Mistakes spat from the earth at the end crossroad

And the wish lingers
Bitter cold crisp after these sunsets
Rusted crowns still bound to me
Scavenging lesser identities

Of lesser obedience, lesser discipline
They gleam most content over
Half unraveled commitments
Small, shimmery riddles
And empty fulfillments

Her nightmare vision and
Ninth sword’s imprisonment
Somewhere beyond are whispers in ritual dance
We’ve captured our prey
Creature entranced with an ache
Tinctured by its find of my domain

It does you no good here to lie
To shape shift or outwit
This web of
My design

—————————-

Working on some new lyrics at the moment. Sort of fell into another song, but do see a way to finish and record before too much time passes. Unfortunately I’m settling into believing I don’t have that kind of time anymore, though I’m really just refusing to allow myself anymore time. Nobody else is here to tell me “hurry up” so I’ve got to be the one and make a decision.

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1 Comment

Filed under Life

One response to “Never to Escape Me

  1. Great sketch above, great stanza below!

    “And the wish lingers
    Bitter cold crisp after these sunsets
    Rusted crowns still bound to me
    Scavenging lesser identities”

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