This drawing was done in semi-hard pastels, on a day a couple of months ago when I’d come back from a really long morning walk. I was right in the middle of my therapy sessions, frustrated and trying to get away from this problem I didn’t believe had a fix–not one that ever left me healthy and alive. So, I got home from that walk with those thoughts in mind and spent hours trying to get my feelings drawn onto a page, ending up with the drawing above (post title is also drawing’s title). The poem below is part of a really big writing subject that I had to break up into different pieces.
Ready with another scheme
The voices and I play with
Your crushed skulls we’ve painted
And pieced into mosaic masks with which
We act out
Your inner most disgrace
I rip and hammer down yet another face
Ashen gray, leveling the flame
While other parts beyond the haze
Blithely tinker with your fate
Those lusty glints are my secret.
Every heaven presented
I’ll just say everything is done and good and well even if it’s not and no one will notice when I don’t show up. I think that’s nice at least and it’s the best I can do.