The Inward Cringe

This is #5 of 200 pages of drawings I’m committing myself to. I bought a pack of drawing paper and decided to just try this. If nothing else comes from it, I’ve at least given myself 200 more days of something to do. Well, 200 more days to live is how I’ve been loosely thinking about it. Things have happened here and there, but anyway I just wanted to share this drawing. It was the first of very few I thought was worth sharing.  I had in mind a line from the previous poem I posted here while I drew this one. The poem below is part of the new bunch I’ve finally continued to edit. It’s a bit different I guess, but I tired. I’m not as stuck as I was before, so anything, good or bad that comes through is appreciated.

 
The Collective

It is not okay to say
I am never to admit I want no part
I’ve no right – having sunsets, even upsets as good as I have
As able bodied as I am, to resign
To allow my tired ended lids itch to get me gone

I must recognize what I was born to claim
And shoulder my share of weight
Our vitriol, violence, plentiful poverties and disease
Far distant a simple digestible grate
How it takes and takes and
Rapes the light of me…

Dutiful numbered citizen, straight spine and down cast eyes
You must take pride and obey
Find a way to balance out your hate as no one alive escapes blame
Whatever space you fill to live about and breathe
Your found places to lay down, face down for the sleep where
The darkness puts up with our sallow stream of reveries
Webbing across the sky – engaged in a constant feed and
Vicious purging of raw guilt
The run retch become of our true conscience

Our spread about at will
To achieve and never fully meet the need
Forever crinkled with the crave – where freedom means obliterate
From limit comes leader – era – label this the age
The risen means far more than what we can embrace

—————————–

I will be away for a few weeks out of town. Hopefully my life will be different or I’ll come back home changed in some way that matters this time. Or maybe an opportunity will come along where I won’t need to return home at all…And whether it’s something good or not, I don’t really care. Any change is better than nothing at this point. I’m ready. Getting away from home is where it has to start.

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2 Comments

Filed under Life

2 responses to “The Inward Cringe

  1. The drawing is like a symbol etched on a worn wall that only certain people would recognize & as such be led by.

    I hope change proves to be a valuable experience for you! Sometimes we need to be a away from home to find out where it belongs in ours lives. I’ve been wanting away from home since the end of high school & did manage to leave one year but not since in the last 5 & I’m due a similar sort of adventure away from all the aspects of my life that I disliike that reside here with me. Best of luck on your travels!

    • Wow, I really appreciate your interpretation of the drawing :) Thanks. I’m thinking about redrawing it for a painting (for when I get back home). Yeah, my willingness to do new things couldn’t be any better than it is at present. I’ve really got to make something of it. Thanks again, and hopefully we’ll talk again soon enough.

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