Distract

I Blend

Side by side, they fall in
The contrast creates a shade
I have a name now and one direction
Careful steps I take, don’t you worry of when

Perfection behind the brights of heaven above
I’m beginning to love what I cannot escape from
Harm I inflict upon this body – where is my respect?
The shame, the regret of a “properly” broken spirit

Your god is angry with me; servant I’ve refused to be
The shock at my spots will cling until their eye whites bleed
Divine fury roaring through your hell of earth and sky
Have it your way, I’m out of sight
I still don’t care, you’re still not right

The book, the bell, the candle and curse
Summoned, disobedience, pressure against the nerve
I dare pray for what it’s worth, my same regurgitated verse
And into the night I blend; the rest of my lights broken in

Dissolved and part of all
A wind drawn rescindment

———-

The poem is from a few passing thoughts I wanted to lay out one day. I’ve gotten back to realizing I’d rather mess around with my writing and not make sense than feel I need to go by a structured approach. There’s nothing structured about my mind or in the way I take in this world and the more I pretend there is the more I stay away from it. And that’s no good. It’s never good when one method I use to cope loses its appeal or seems harsher than anything else I may try, to return to “okay” and get through the day.

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1 Comment

Filed under Life

One response to “Distract

  1. Did you intend for this to be a portrait? It looks like a woman in profile, with her left shoulder toward the viewer. In keeping with the poem, she appears to be turning away, as if having given someone a chance but then given up on them. The title is interesting: it’s not she who is distracted, but the other who is too distracted with whatever to perceive what she is offering (therefore she’s turning away).

    (I may be projecting some of my recent experiences here, though.)

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