Can I hang onto you for a while?
You’ve not hurt me yet, but you will want to
There is nothing here for you
And you’ll learn to regret all the time you’ve spent listening
—There are cutting words you’ve held back
I’m pathetic and remind you of all things helpless
Of the hopeless and all the other ones you hate to notice
I am weak and I am worthless, and as you say
This broken life is one that I have chosen
And I don’t speak as I am spoken for
I’m dying cold outside your door
You raise your head and must be strong
And step on those below who crawl…
You’ll have a heart of blackened blood or have no heart at all
And shame on me as I am not bottled up
I drip and melt in poisons of both our souls
In violent breaths passed between memory’s shadows
I’m holding on though you have let me go
The painting is a newer version of something I completed years ago; I thought it went okay with the poem which isn’t but a few months old, part of a separate little collection I sorted through.
This week is going to have an answer for me. And if it doesn’t, then I have a fix for that too. You know how it is. You hang in there as long as you can, but it can’t be forever. And even change does not erase the very end.