Fragile but ugly
So by all means – break
Everyone will be angry if you wait
Never blessed by a breath of wings above
They know how cold you are; no one expects your love
No one cares for what you’ve done
And no one fears your setting sun
The bass notes we’ve become with scars upon our strings
Snap away – find a death in change
You would take no sound at all
Over the same
I am sick of being something that withers beneath the sunlight rather than something that flourishes within it. The last few days I’ve actually felt confidence and I don’t understand why or what is behind it. I went for an interview yesterday and for some reason think I can really do the job competently. Believing the opportunity to speak for myself was put before me for a reason, so I mustn’t ignore it. Part of my thoughts connect it possibly having to do with a point when you see as you begin to want everything it’s because you’re close to wanting nothing at all. The moments where I say ‘I can do this and that or I’ll try it all’ do worry me. I’ve been here before and move too quickly once a door has been opened. I rush out ridiculously, but with more life and passion than my normal days and weeks pass with, and I end up in a worse state for whatever it is I’ve foolishly gotten myself into. And I know this could go on for as long as I can still breathe. I can always hate myself more; I can always make a worse mistake and always hit a new low. I’ll never again settle with the notion I can never fall further.
This is the month. Something will change and it’s a promise I made to myself a long while ago.