The Weight

When you’re told you will have to be the one to make huge decisions, and you believe with everything you’re made of that you will not be able to handle it all when it lands at your feet…That’s just where this poem comes from.

The Weight

I am sorry,
I don’t think I should know
You say you will not be here
But I’ll be the first to go

The terrifying weight we share
Soon to be all my own
Your words are the shadow I fear
I’m forced to follow you from here

There is a light you see in me
But I beg you, don’t believe it
My brittle frame—I can’t bear all you take,
And nothing part of the blessing you seek

This idea must kill itself; I’ve no one else to be
From this world I want nothing but away from what you think
I would let you see my dream, the always in falling
When ever I am thrown and told to fly without your wings

—————-

Lately I haven’t had the words. Nothing’s going through my mind besides how tired and flat my mind has felt. There are still things to paint and finish, but all I’ve wanted to do is sit and stare at the wall. Next week I start a temporary job and I can only hope my mind stays sharp enough to remember what I’m told and get these few weeks over with. That way, if something does happen to me, there’s some extra money left behind in my account for my mother. That’s about the only good my life could be to her. A small, pathetic repayment for everything I’ve cost. That’s all I’ve wanted to do, all these years–that’s it.

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