Sometimes I feel so much anxiety about my life and where it’s headed and for all I have not done yet or should have already done by now—sometimes I just can’t breathe. My head is spinning, I don’t know what to do with my restless nerves, I can’t cry though I know some sort of a break down would be a relief from the way I’m forcing myself to keep it together. I just don’t want to do this anymore. Where can I go where nothing is expected of me, where nothing and no one needs me? They already don’t need me though. Suppose I’m making myself sound more important than I honest am…lol. Well then, for the heart, its beating, the blood, the breath. I don’t need these things. Haven’t done anything to deserve a chance here and it really seems ridiculous now. Shamefully ridiculous.
I’ve been rewriting lyrics wondering just where I am within them. It may end up like so many other attempts at songwriting. I pick apart so much, take out what feel like lies or feel cheap and unidentifiable until there’s nothing left to name.
A subject on my mind lately:
The Moment Known
Shadows move in
And become one with the darkness
A hint of the truth we’ve all waited for
Beloved hush at our very core
The breath- taken, gently opened door
Desiring more than all that’s been given before
You have a way to see inside
Appreciate this ache
For the moment it’s known that you must let go
You’ll already know your way