Monthly Archives: October 2008


Complete disappointment, from many different angles. From people using or manipulating you to the bad advice from others or yourself that you never want to hear but it is repeated over and over anyway. But that’s just my interpretation of it (for

Let Down

Trust swindled me of a soul

I was above the trance of these other sheep

But I see what they’ve done

Every smile I perceived was a fallacy

To ever think I was enough….

I am swathed in botched self confidence

A boring balance of undesired range

It’s my own disillusionment forcing me to change

It’s the beady way they looked at me

With flickering disdain….

This is the life of the broke and used

I am beneath with the fragments of an unfulfilled wish

Fast pace confusion gave its old opinion

Shriveled experience poured out its dust of a vision

Its wisdom and wounds, without a reason


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Filed under Life, pain, people, personal, poems, poetry, politics, social anxiety, Thoughts



Unprepared; the world says I have to want to be.

Haven’t the angels seen my desperate screams?

God, put me to sleep,

Forget my promises you keep

If I could only cleanse or clip away the wrong in me

Chain and whip the numb and all excesses I perceive

But selfish me, lazy me, so lazy I’ve stopped eating

In a horrid, bloody daze where I fearfully envision

That my guilt ridden cuts could never be made deep enough

There are new wounds for each day my death

Runs over due.

This is a summary I guess, of the last two or three major entries here I’ve made. The running thoughts, and blank numb moments I am trying to make sense of right now.



Filed under Art, Death, Life, numbness, pain, personal, poems, poetry, Thoughts