Monthly Archives: July 2008

The Bleed

I polished this a little bit more and thought it right to re-post it now. It is all a true story, one no one in my life knows about, and one I don’t ever intend to explain to them, because of how difficult it would be to honestly understand where I am coming from without being sickened or afraid. I could be wrong, but I just don’t think they’re ready for something like it, and I am not ready myself to have the words leave me.

At a selfish hour, with rightly selfish thoughts

Lines so overwhelmed in agony are taught

To be my shock from a pleading secrecy

To scream; to justify the pain and the release.

 

Generous moonlight, illuminated tears

I hide my twitching sanity in sheer.

A lasting sorrow with night only to care

It’s the leaning, slit, the drip and stare.  

 

Reap, to rid my eyes of their breathing hue.

The nightmarish things I put my soul through

Dangerous hope with razor hostility

The longing, the depth in red defeat.

 

There’s a throbbing chill, I’ve practiced this before.

Dark dream, reality, the feeling I’ve prayed for

The shadows wade low, grieving what they see,

Swallowing the sight of a desperate bleed.

 

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Art, Death, Life, personal, poems, poetry, suicide, Thoughts

For Death

I’ve been scattered. This picture is one I took of a flower in my back yard, edited and all. You know when you are just so aware of what you can’t control that you stop trying? That’s how it’s been lately, with everything I attempt to do. Like today, I tried to draw another portrait and when it wasn’t working out, I threw it aside, went to writing something and realized how scattered my lines and verses where getting….it’s to the point where I’ve gotten lost in pointlessness. I’m not making sense, and my poem probably won’t either, but it was written after I wrote the first two lines about a week or two ago. It stems from those two lines is what I mean.

Dew upon the rotten blooms

The stench, its leak of secrecy

Cleanse this air of all its use

And choke the life of me

 

The nightshade drinking up all dreams

A taste of sweet and acid burst

Rise of vapors whisperings

I listen for the curse

 

Eternal roots of the yew

Unseal and peel and bleed in wealth

Melt this grave, drain and consume

And take my soul in death

 

 

 

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Art, Death, flowers, Life, personal, photography, poems, poetry, Thoughts

What does it mean?

I’m not sure, but I wrote this to get me thinking about life, what it means, and the difficulty in between every success and failure. Things we do and what we fear and how one thing leads to something else. A song inspired me to write this, and I couldn’t help but mention eveything that ran through my mind…lol.

 

I am purpose, the worship and religion

The reason you get up

The second chances you are given

The unfair and trickery

I am the grief and despair

The moments you realize when no one has to care

 

I am the frigid to the eye of a young

The pending witness

I am the accusation

The fall from grace, the lie, the pain

Fresh hate blown down the throats of the followers

The new born disability, the cigarette, the hearse

 

The truth, the evidence, the shame, the gray

The responsibility neither sheep

Nor leader will claim

I am the confrontation to your past memories

The strain, the peace and ruins of emotion,

Release

 

The family, the friends, the picture perfect end

The mend, I am the constant, the trials and hardship

I am the kiss of impending darkness

When goals and opportunity are heavily guarded

The drive and instinct, the survival, the dream

I am everything you live for

And die to be

 

2 Comments

Filed under Art, Death, fear, Life, personal, poems, poetry, Thoughts