Musings (poem)

This is another older poem. I think I wrote this a year ago and never let anyone read it. It really displays how sick I was mentally. How no one would stop believing the lies I told them and how close I really was to ending my life. I have to tell you it is scary at times to think about those memories. I ask myself how could I have gotten so terribly bad? How could I have thought about and done such things? Things happen for a reason though. I don’t feel the shame as deeply as I did. It does no good in blaming myself for feeling like I did and for being as sick as I was.

Shock and fear, imagining
My own created tragedy
The coldest red, my frozen eyes
Escaping lies, the fallen knife

Who would find out what I’ve done?
Unbearable, my darkest want
The souls I’d murder with this need…
Daydreams now streaming down my cheek

The truth behind my thoughts, I see
They will not stop believing me
Exhausted sighs to sacrifice
A faded, lost respect for life

My smiles are not innocent
I chant my plans, from how to when
Obsession savored, sorrow sweet
A hope to grip the death in sleep



Filed under Art, Death, Life, personal, poems, poetry, suicide, Thoughts

3 responses to “Musings (poem)

  1. Arnold Kao

    I’m glad you’re here now to share this. It’s dark, but in a… nice… way, I guess. Haha. I suppose I just enjoy dark poetry. It’s just saddening how to write in such a way requires an experience equally burdensome.

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  3. lucienlachance

    “Obsession savored, sorrow sweet
    A hope to grip the death in sleep”

    I really love this; it’s beautiful. That’s a strange thing to say about something dark—to others, I’m sure—but I know you know what I mean.

    The fact that you can express such things in writing is something very unique.

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