I write this poem some months ago and actually posted it, but then quickly took it down when I realized I could do better for it. So I changed some things around, and I will say it relates to my current place in life in a way. When I say ‘last rose’ I mean the last good thing. The thing I woke up to live for, being gone or becoming unimportant. This is about how that can happen, and when I don’t know what to do to move on, I just want to give up.
This morning’s golden halo
Torched and withered my last rose
Insanity is getting bold
Such misery…I cannot cope
Tears are slipping down my throat
Disturbed shards of a broken soul
Blades and sorrow hold me close
Dreaming far, of dark and cold
Skinless, grotesque, predisposed
Self-destruction’s all I know
Embrace my inner Scorpio
I have a future to disown
I can’t fix the status quo
Life takes too long to let me go
My lies receive a second coat
Pretend to live knowing I won’t
To expect my weak and common lies
For someone to talk me down
For someone to take and twist my knife
And bleed my dark intentions dry
Tell me about the hour clever thieves get away
When reckless bullets tragically stray
A bundle of suspicion crawls the floor
Tragic events seep from beneath these doors
It happens as no one’s up to care
Then, this veil of forgotten-ness begins to tear
The hours dwindle through a ruined light
Dazzled blues, the regretful hues of night
The dark, the blind and vulnerable
I am where subconscious urges roam
In fluid dreams; their disconnect
They speak of all things alien
In sleep, sorrowful memories
A fixed unease roots from the crease
My threaded thoughts fray unstrung
My secure world becomes undone
A simple one that started out apart of another poem I am working on. This section I thought was better on its own.
Filed under Art, Life, poems, poetry
Sort of how I’ve been feeling the last couple of days. It’s been hard trying to really get back into writing poetry, and write something I am really satisfied with. This is a start I guess. I think a lot about being nothing. It’s hard explaining exactly what I mean by that because it’s really more than what it sounds like.
Irritated; ready to die
My tears hang on for dear life
Won’t my familiars admit the truth?
I am around without a use?
I shade in well, I disappear
In disturbed thoughts no one else hears
To be apart of nothingness…..
Between each breath and each second
Nothing is decided, nothing recognized
Where lives of all sorts are born to die
I’ll keep away. I will not leech
Isolation has a point I’ve reached
When talk turns a weak enemy
When those around refuse to see
As prayer, and bright hopeful dreams
Decide to mean nothing.