For Death

I’ve been scattered. This picture is one I took of a flower in my back yard, edited and all. You know when you are just so aware of what you can’t control that you stop trying? That’s how it’s been lately, with everything I attempt to do. Like today, I tried to draw another portrait and when it wasn’t working out, I threw it aside, went to writing something and realized how scattered my lines and verses where getting….it’s to the point where I’ve gotten lost in pointlessness. I’m not making sense, and my poem probably won’t either, but it was written after I wrote the first two lines about a week or two ago. It stems from those two lines is what I mean.

Dew upon the rotten blooms

The stench, its leak of secrecy

Cleanse this air of all its use

And choke the life of me

 

The nightshade drinking up all dreams

A taste of sweet and acid burst

Rise of vapors whisperings

I listen for the curse

 

Eternal roots of the yew

Unseal and peel and bleed in wealth

Melt this grave, drain and consume

And take my soul in death

 

 

 

 

 

Something new….

I have been very withdrawn lately. Frustrated with people, and self-hating and bent on what to do about the storm in my head, thoughts that don’t know what to do with themselves. Anyway, I have been taking more photos, and writing a whole lot more than is normal for me. Writing about things that I usually stay away from because it was always hard for me to put very much feeling behind them. One thing that helps though is this list of questions I wrote down to ask myself everytime I want to write and get stuck on what I want to say. They are questions to help me twist the meaning and disguise the truth a bit better.

I wish I had more to say. Well, here are some new poems. One is called Spring, I started it months ago but just recently decided it was worth trying to finish (I suck at nature poems it seems…lol) The other one is something that came out of no where really. I was reading some Dorothy Parker poems and the structure of it is loosely based off her style. It has no title yet, but it’s about someone dreaming a terrible thing happened to someone they loved all because they never read into the signs the person gave them. I think about that a lot. People close to me being so blind to what’s right there, waiting and hoping they will see before it’s too late.

Spring

 

The sun has a new voice today

Fresh life within each brilliant ray

Soon, the grass will not be crushed

Beneath the frozen tears of

Gray winter’s monotony

It is of lush and green, we dream

Colors will soon have a scent

And textures will feels so exotic

We will all awake in spring

Nature’s kiss upon our cheek

————

 

Hear me, hear me

Crumbling

Ready for the fall

See me, see me

Tumbling

And do nothing at all

 

Bleeding, screaming

Ruining

My body’s broken through

Watching, you plead

“Forgive me”

It drains your living hue

 

Sullen, speaking

Riddling

I left a little clue

Fearful dreaming

Mindfully

Thinking of what I’ll do

 

Praying, heeding

Wondering

You cry a silent shame

Searching, seeing

Finally

Deciphering my pain