A Break

    

      I just don’t feel like talking about myself or what’s going on in my life right now. I’m writing a song and trying to arrange it with piano (I say this a lot but maybe this time I will finish actually, and not put it aside and forget about it again). Anyway, this poem below is about a year old or more possibly. It never felt right so I never posted it, but I think I have it down this time. It’s basically written for the times I would ask myself what would happened if anyone found out what I was thinking, feeling, and planning. I used to truly worry about that way beyond reason (people are completely blind), and I could care less about who knows what anymore about such things. Honestly though, what would anyone dare do about it all?…lol.

 

Caught

 

My lies have been defeated

They know my darkest secret

Gloom has forced the light to fall

I hang my head before them all

 

Overwhelmed, upsetting thoughts

Words unfolded, I was caught

My letter of a pained farewell

Sickness disclosed, a death to tell

 

First tear to bleed, they want to talk

Demands to know what’s going on

Conversing of my selfishness

A fear that prickles at my skin

 

A truth now too dark to hide

As eyes beg to read my mind

But no excuse beneath these sleeves

Shadow has gained my loyalty

 

From offered and unwanted help

I glare, trying to guard myself

Alone; they are not on my side

I am not trying to survive….

 

Frightened threats ignore what’s wrong

Drenched in blame and all my faults…

Embraced, a soulless, settled calm

The burden, yes,

I’ll soon be gone.

 

And I want to through in this entry the Evanescence video of ‘My Immortal’. I know it’s old, and I got sick of this song and stopped listening to it for a long while, but I can relate to it slightly right now. Plus I think the video is just beautifully done. I love the black and white.

 

 

 

A favorite song…

 This is a beautiful Evanescence acoustic performance of “Lithium” (more than a year old, I believe). Isn’t it funny how small things like songs can get you through so much when you are attached? I remember in ‘06 when The Open Door came out, I was hooked, and perfectly distracted with the new piano tracks from the album I wanted to learn and play. Anyway, this was one of those songs I listened to often because it turned out that at the time I was set in believing exactly what the lyrics talk about, equating happiness to numbness and preferring sorrow over that feeling. So when I heard this song, I felt very understood to a point.