“Sing so soft, as if she’ll break….”
The title is a line from Regina Spektor’ s song “Lady”. I love the mood of that song. I know I probably seem a little stuck on her music, but she has a lot of variety, and I’m amazed at how she arranges some of her songs.
Anyway, I don’t have anything new to say except I’m working on two new songs. The lyrics suck, but the music I guess is slowly coming along…lol. I’m embarrassed that I even try, but it’s something to do for now as I wait to be contacted for volunteering at the hospital (I’ll have to do at least 100 hours in a year, which will be no problem since I have nothing else going on..).
Below are some older poems I wasn’t too excited about, but didn’t want to trash either. More bits and pieces of thoughts I threw together one day to ease a bad mood. The new things I’ve written are almost done being edited.
For Sanity
Quiet disposition-
Looks to dreams of the unreachable
In melancholic melodies, played beneath my fingers
In discontent, as written in a hidden script of
Characters; strangers who hurt themselves
But, I never quite figured them out.
To draw somber eyes-
Soft glistening breaks over the souls iris doors
Imagination was not enough
Once numbness dyed every new life experience
When time clearly asked me to waste away
To die, or decide on which risks I’d take.
On the edge thinking deeply-
On a sunset I prayed for the will to meet
For my fallen blade to mirror a perfect resolution
As in the stories, characters and how they would fold
As in the sad drawn eyes, of their streaming tears
That ask why the passing days forget their purpose.
In the way the keys sang a most painful song-
Each note gave its understanding without pause
Why desperation creases my brow…If God
Could only tell me how, to live and what to say
Why he can not force belief
For all things to be okay.
A Way
Cut,
Dragged,
Swallowed down
I’ll fix a sure way out
Crippling, well placed mistakes
Tonight shall have their way
Finished tears will seep and choke
Sorrows of unseen years
Risen ailments’ wave, at crest
Soon comes my flood of
Darkness
July 3, 2009 at 10:08 pm
I’m very glad to hear you are working on things. It’s good to enjoy yourself, particularly creatively. I always feel so wrong when I don’t have some project or other going on. Do you feel like your creativity is no longer being inhibited as much as it was?
I ask myself the same question: why does God not show us how to live? Why such misery? I guess it is useless to ask, but for some reason the thought never dies in me, it continues to breathe life. I’ll always want answers to the ‘why’ questions, I think. Maybe that is simply the way we are supposed to be, constantly searching for something to bring light to the darkness. For what would there be without mystery, without striving for something? Nothing, I suppose.